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Easter for Sadists
Easter is here, and that means it’s time for my two favourite things—excessive chocolate consumption and crushing my loved ones under the sheer weight of my competitive pettiness. I probably need to explain that last one…
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Forward
Wow 2020 sucks hey. Generally for everyone in the entire world, it seems. My personal suckitude began in November 2019 when I had my fourth consecutive miscarriage, and then continued as I evacuated from bushfires threatening my home, watched the rest of my country burn on the news, visited the ED for a sudden and…
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The Feline Water Cycle
I don’t think of my cat as my baby. That’s not to say I don’t love the floof-demon a stupid amount or take my responsibility of his wellbeing seriously, I just don’t think of our relationship as parent-child. I don’t mind if other people think of their pets as their children or fur-babies or whathaveyou,…
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Am I An Adult?
One year when I was still in highschool I asked for a green ipod for my birthday. The green was important. It was an unwell pistachio colour, sort of warm and cool at the same time. But teenagers aren’t renowned for their emotional restraint and despite the vomit-untertone I couldn’t have fallen more head-over-heads in…
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The Apocryphal Tale of the Octopus Liver
Before we begin, let me quickly introduce my dad. My dad wore a Greek fisherman’s hat everywhere. My dad cooked squid spinach. My dad was notorious for eating unusual things, particularly seafood. He told us which flowers in our garden were technically edible and snacked on them. He fossicked in rock pools and consumed their…
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A Case of Shit Bees (Impostor Syndrome)
Do you ever peek at the last page in a book? Sometimes I do. This story ends with me winning first place in a youth art competition. I was eleven, quite young compared to some of the other people who had entered. The person who came second was older than me. I saw her face…
Silence Killed The Dinosaurs 