Tag Archives: coffee

Parenting Tips No One Tells You (except me, of course) #1

Comic with four panels. Above, text reads: How to Push a Pram While Holding a Takeaway* Coffee (the asterisk leads to the bottom of the page and says '*in a reusable cup'). Panel 1: diagram of pram handle bar from above. Hand 1 (labled) is on one side, hand 2 (labelled) is on the other also holding a coffee (labelled as 'coffee rests on handle'. Panel 2: the pram goes over a small rock and bounces, an arrow is drawn going up and reading 'force transfer', the coffee bounces off the handlebar and spills everywhere. A very alarmed looking comic-Lucy who is about to get a face full of coffee has an arrow pointing to her saying 'unsuccessful caffeination'. There is a big X in red and the word 'No.'. Panel 3: diagram showing pram handlebar. This time, hand 1 is off to one side and hand to is holding the coffee midair away from the handlebar. The coffee is labelled 'safe coffee'. Panel 4: view from above, the pram is pushed by comic-Lucy and they wobble all over the path until they have gone off the side and hit a bench. And arrow points to the pram and says 'unlikely to sleep'. There is a big X in red and the word 'Nope'
Second page of the previous comic. Two panels. Panel 1: diagram of pram handlebar with hand 1 centered and hand 2 holding the coffee in midair. Panel 2: comic-Lucy happily sips coffee and pushes a pram in a straight line. The coffee sipping is labelled 'successful caffeination'. And arrow points to the pram saying 'might actually sleep'. There is a big green tick and the word 'Yes'. Underneath the panels are the words 'You're Welcome.'
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It took me an embarrassingly long time to work this out. I spent months in a ditch at the side of the park paths in over-sized coffee-stained jumpers staring enviously at all the put-together parents cruising around in sleek active-wear and looking like they’d actually showered and remembered about brushing their hair that morning .

Bonus tip: This also works great for playing Pokemon Go.

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