Tag Archives: Easter

Easter for Sadists, Part 2

Fluff, Humour, Quarantine, Stories, , , , , , , , , ,

(Part 1 in full here, or just read the recap at the start.)

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Previously on Lucy’s Evil Sadistic Egg hunts …

My partnerthis guy (arrow pointing to) comic of my partnerand I this person (arrow pointing to) comic of mehave a tradition of messing with each other via chocolate eggs these delicious fuckers (arrow pointing at) easter eggs. Two years ago, I came up with a Cunning Plan this face (arrow pointing to) comic of me looking cunning mid-hunt. Phase 1, two years ago, was to set up a small lockable cabinet in his mind as a VERY IMPORTANT HIDING PLACE that must be checked at all costs this fellow (arrow pointing to) cabinet with lock. Phase 2—last year, 2020, the year of constant terrible things—involved locking every last easter egg in that cabinet and then hiding the key this guy (arrow pointing to) a key by taping it to the back of the clock. It … didn’t work out. He got a riddle wrong, leading him to the key early. I was disappointed like this (arrow pointing to) me screaming and melting into a puddle. But that wasn’t the whole plan this face (arrow pointing to) me looking EVIL. This year was time for Phase 3. Something that had been living in my head for three years without me breathing a word to him. Something that had evolved in the wake of the 2020 hunt disaster. Something I had thought through every last inch of and ironed into perfection. But sometimes real life gets in the way …

So yeah. When I originally came up with the Cunning Plan, I did not expect that for Phase 3, the most important phase, the climax, the culmination of years of mildly-sadistic daydreaming, the bit that involved a lot of heavy lifting, that I would be …

Me, standing, clearly pregnant.

… pregnant.

I realised early on in the pregnancy this would be an issue, and set about working out how to handle it. I considered trolleys and skateboards, odd pulley systems or just risking some lifting and climbing, but when running all this past a friend, she very sensibly pointed out I was being ridiculous and she would be delighted to come around and do all the significantly physical bits.

Me, standing and waving. Friend is popping in from the side of the frame saying 'hello!'

Big thank you to her for making all this possible.

Are you ready? Did you read the recap at the top? Do you know all the key pieces in this game?

Good.

Here we go.

Easter Sunday dawned, and my partner hid all the eggs set aside for me. Credit where credit is due, he did his best job ever this year. He even used tape and twine to make things extra interesting.

6 panels. Panel 1: an easter egg balances on top of a coat rack. Panel 2: an easter egg is tapped to the inside of a pendant light shade. Panel 3: an easter egg is taped to the top of a fan blade. Panel 4: an easter egg has been tied with twine so it hangs from the handle of a watering can into the body of the watering can. Panel 5: an easter egg has been tied with twine so that it hangs from a curtain rail between the window and the curtain. Panel 6: I have removed a bowl-light shade from the ceiling and am taking one easter egg out, another is still in the light fitting.

And he really could have been cruel about it and put them all in places pregnancy made tricky or completely impossible for me to access, but he didn’t. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he had, not after the previous year. But he’s a sweetheart.

Unlike me.

No eggs appeared for him that morning, but later that afternoon, when he returned from an errand …

3 panels: Panel 1: my partner sticks his head in the door and says 'heeeeeelllloooo? I'm home! Just a head's up in case anyone is still hiding anything ...' Panel 2: I pop out improbably from behind the coat rack and say 'oh, hi!'. Panel 3: my partner says 'Should I ... Look for things?'
1 standard panel and 6 small panels. Panel 1 (standard): From behind the coat rack, I say 'I would not presume to tell you what to do.' 6 small panels begin. 1/6: My partner looks around, hopeful, and I peek out from behind a couch in the background. 2/6: partner looks around, still hopeful, while I peer from behind a potted plant. 3/6: Partner is starting to look concerned. I dangle from the ceiling to watch. 4/6: Partner walks past something on the floor, it is a key on a note. 5/6: Partner stops and looks at the key and note. The tiniest top part of my head begins to appear at the bottom of the panel. 6/6: My partner notices there should be something large where the key and note are (glowing space with lines around it). My head is a little higher.
1 standard and 1 large panel. Panel 1: My partner says 'The whole--' as I rise higher from the bottom of the panel. Panel 2: I pop up looking very over-exciting yelling 'THE WHOLE CABINET IS GONE!!!' and my partner is rightly startled.

That’s right, I hid THE WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING CABINET. You remember the cabinet, right? It was in the recap.

This fellow (an arrow pointing to a cabinet)

You got it. That fellow.

This was something I had been planning for three whole years. First step, establish the cabinet as important for hiding things. Second step, hide ALL the eggs in the cabinet and then take the key, replacing it with the first in a string of riddles, and hide it. Third step, HIDE THE WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING CABINET.

Seriously, this plot took me years to pull off, please appreciate the moment. I sure did.

Close up of my face. I am glowing pink with sparkles and clapping with delight.

My partner probably would have been more impressed if, at that same moment, he hadn’t peeked through the neighbouring door to the spare bedroom and seen …

3 panels. Panel 1: my partner ignores the key on the floor to peek through a door to the spare room. There is a suspicious cabinet-shape under the covers, which is glowing with lines around it because it's so suspect. Panel 2: Closer view of my and my partner (the door is still visible in the background with the suspiciously glowing cabinet shape in the bed). My partner says ' ... Can I look in here?'. Panel 3: my partner and I. I say
3 panels. Panel 1: my partner says 'It's just ... Last year I jumped to the end, and this year I'd like to do it properly.' Panel 2: I say 'If you jump to the end, you aren't breaking the rules. You just win.' Panel 3: my partner says, 'if you're sure.'

See? Sweetheart. Bless him.

2 panels. Panel 1: the cover is pulled back from the bed to reveal a pile of books arranged in the rectangular shape of the cabinet. There is a note on top that reads 'LOL psych.' Panel 2: my partner stares at the note. My head is viisble in the bottom corner. I am so delighted that I am glowing pink with sparkles.

I’m not totally evil. You may have noticed that along with the key to the missing cabinet, I left a note.

A note with a key. The note reads: Where does today come before yesterday? WRONG ANSWERS ONLY'

Or maybe I am.

See, this was the riddle he got wrong last year. The correct answer is the dictionary. The very obviously erroneous answer is the clock. Which, unfortunately, happened to be where I hid the key. Hence, he got a short-cut to the end. As I melted in disbelief and anger, I was already brainstorming how to twist the tragedy not only into the next phase of the Cunning Plan, but figuratively into him like a sharp, stabby—and again completely figurative—revenge knife.

So, this year …

2 panels. Panel 1: The dictionary with a note that reads: 'Oh, NOW you can get this riddle right. Too bad I said WRONG ANSWERS ONLY.' Panel 2: The clock with a note that reads: 'Correct! I mean incorrect! Which is correct because this is a wrong answers only quiz! What must be broken to be used?'

Another riddle from last year. The correct answer last time was eggs, and the next riddle was in the egg carton in the fridge. This year …

Egg cartoon containing a note which reads: 'Again, wrong answers only.'

… the ‘right’ answer was actually in the freezer.

A tray of ice with a note that reads: 'Yes! Something about breaking the ice probably! That almost makes sense. What has a head and a tail but no body?'

Last year the answer was coins.

A piggy bank wearing sunglasses with scattered coins. There is a note that reads: 'Don't you get how this works yet?'

This year, that was not the answer. He spent a lot of time hunting, in which he became he was delightfully frustrated. He is very entertaining when he is frustrated. And very productive. He found all sorts of other things.

3 panels. Panel 1: my partner walks past an open door, through which can be seen a suspiciously cabinet-y shape behind a curtain. Panel 2: my partner peeks into the room at the now-glowing-suspisciously shape and says 'That isn't the cabinet either, is it?'. Panel 3: I pop out from a large decorative pot, startling my partner, and say 'You'll have to look!'
2 panels. Panel 1. The curtain has been pulled back to reveal a cardboard box the shape of the cabinet. A note is taped to it that says 'Haha. No.' Panel 2: My partner looks disappointed. I, still in the large decorative pot, can be seen in the bottom corner of the panel looking so delighting that I am, again, glowing pink with sparkles.

But after an hour, even I was getting a bit frustrated. I mean, I had been waiting for the revenge-riddle pay-offs for a whole year and some of the bigger pay-offs for three whole years.

3 panels. Panel 1: my partner stands in a room with several pieces of furniture including a bookcase, a potted plant and a coffee table. A cat sleeps in a cat-bed on the floor. My partner says 'Help me out here, cat ... where should I look next?' Panel 2: I sweep aside the books from the bookshelf, revealing that I have folded myself up to hide there. I say 'Would you like a hint?' My partner is not impressed. He says 'Yes.' Panel 3: still in the bookcase, I say 'you just asked the right person.'

With that little tip, he got there in the end.

A box of beaten up cat toys. There is a long note, the cat is peeking out from behind it. The note reads: 'Well done! A head, a tail, but no body--probably something the cat disembowelled! Hence, this is with the cat toys. Look, this doesn't have to be a good answer because the point is it's WRONG. See how annoying it is when people come up with nonsensical solutions to riddles? FINAL ONE: What has many keys but can open no locks?'

The right answer from last year was the piano.

3 panels. Panel 1: in the middle of a room filled with a cupboard, a lamp, too pictures (one of my dinosaur friend, one of the cat licking it's bum), and two large potted plants, my partner stands and calls out 'Should I bother checking the piano?' Panel 2: I pop out from behind his back (he looks suitably alarmed) and say 'At this point, I think you can guess how that will go.' Panel 3: The piano keyboard. Sticking out of the sheet music is a note that reads: 'Masochist.'

This year …

A bowl full of keys and other pocket odds and ends. There is a note that reads: 'The key bowl! It has many keys, but can't open locks. BECAUSE IT'S A BOWL. Unfortunately, one of the keys has got confused and wandered off to be with others like it...'

The garden shed key was missing, and it didn’t take him long to follow the clue back to the piano and find it taped to the bottom of the stool.

So finally, after a long, exhaustive hunt throughout the house, he went out into the garden to the shed to find the missing cabinet.

I followed close behind.

1 standard panel, 3 small panels, and 1 more standard panel. Panel 1 (standard): my partner walks down the garden path holding two keys toward a padlocked shed. He looks very pleased with himself. 3 small panels. 1/3: My partner is walking on the path, I pop up from the bottom of the panel. 2/3: I slither along the path (still pregnant, btw). 3/3: I slither off the path, toward the bottom of the panel... Final panel (standard): I slither down from the last panel to watch from a distance as my partner unlocks the shed.
1 panel (standard), 3 small panels, 1 more panel (standard). Panel 1: my partner has opened the shed to reveal the glowing cabinet. He is clearly delighted. Small panels. 1/3: my partner moves the cabinet toward the shed door, something rattles in the cabinet (this is shown through use of the word *rattle* written around the cabinet). 2/3: my partner moves the cabinet out of the shed as it continues to rattle. He says ... 3/3 'I can hear the eggs!' The cabinet is on the grass and he is putting a key in the lock. Final panel (standard): he opens the top draw of the cabinet, which glows around him.
3 panels: my partner pulls and handful of rocks our the draw and says 'rocks?'. Panel 2: He reaches back in the draw, there is something white visible inside. Panel 3: It is a note, which says: 'Did I ever actually say the eggs were in the cabinet? Happy hunting!'
3 panels. Panel 1: my partner yells back toward the house 'But I've already looked everywhere!' Panel 2: I slither from the other side of the panel. He looks at me, unimpressed. Panel 3: He has turned his back to me and is ignoring me. I slither-levitate from the ground behind him, obviously delighted,
1 huge panel. My partner is in the foreground, ignoring me. In the background I am a huge monster of delight. I glow and sparkle. It is unclear if I look threatening or happy.

Now the riddle portion of the hunt was over, I could relax. It had all gone smoothly. He could no longer do anything in the wrong order. And it had been magnificent. I was satisfied.

He was not.

Days passed. Every now and then, I would come across him fossicking in some unlikely place.

My partner stands in front of a ransacked room. There is an empty bookcase with books and boxes scattered around it (the cat does remain on the top shelf though), a couch with the cushions removed and the stuffing exposed

Of course I’m not. What an abominable suggestion.

If I went that route, I would have eaten his eggs, not thrown them away.

I have to confess that after the disastrous 2020 hunt, I did consider doing just that. Only for a moment. At the end of the day, I’m not that sort of evil. The point of all this, as much as I might pretend otherwise, was for him to have fun. And, though he might pretend otherwise, he was having fun.

Close up of my partner, arms folded, standing in front of a huge pile of ransacked stuff (including books, a tipped-out board game, a cat in a box, an electrical cord, a lamp with no shade). He does not look like he is having fun.

No really. It’s obvious if you know him well. There’s a little twinkle he can’t quite hide.

3 panels. I lie in bed in the dark, clearly I have been asleep. My partner bends over me saying 'can you at least tell me if I should actually be looking outside?' Panel 2: I look at him in concern, he is looking a bit frazzled. Panel 3: I say 'Urhh ... okay. I am willing to confirm the eggs are inside the house.' He looks pleased.

See? He was really keen to do the hunt.

Besides, I knew it wouldn’t take him too long to find them. Not in the big scheme of things. We had been doing some house improvements, and thanks to a few recurring chores, I knew before long he would have to accidentally stumble on them …

1 large panel, 3 small panels. Panel 1: My partner is on a ladder, underneath an open manhole in the ceiling. He is holding a bag of sparkling green easter eggs and saying to me (I am reading a book on a couch with my back to him) 'In the CEILING?' Small panels. 1/3: close up of the back of my head as I sit on the couch and read my book. 2/3: My neck begins to twist. 3/3: my neck is definitely twisting exorcist style.
1 huge panel. My neck has twisted the whole way around. I am glowing pink with delight.
3 panels. Panel 1: my partner stands, holding the eggs, saying 'I don't know what to say. Panel 2: he looks at the eggs. Panel 3: he looks back forward and says 'I'm really impressed.'

As he should be.

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Whew. That was a lot of illustrations. And a lot of work. And a lot of planning. I hope you enjoyed the write up. I would have made this hunt even if I didn’t have a website to share it on, of course. Plotting is fun.

Other safe stuff HERE.

If you love my stories and comics, check out my Patreon page. You can support my work and get unique rewards! Along with the usual merch you can now get facemasks in my store. Specifically here. (And actually with the whole baby-about-to-show up situation, this would be a particularly excellent time to do any of those things if you’ve been considering them).

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Easter for Sadists

Fluff, Humour, Quarantine, Stories, , , , , , , , ,

Easter is here, and that means it’s time for my two favourite things—excessive chocolate consumption and crushing my loved ones under the sheer weight of my competitive pettiness.

I probably need to explain that last one.

A few years ago I was so sick that medical appointments were one of the only reasons I left the house. Short version (and perhaps now the whole world is in quarantine you can relate without further elaboration anyway), this was very frustrating. By Easter, I was determined to do something.

So I came up with a Cunning Plan.

Me coming up with a cunning plan

I asked a friend to buy me a packet of Easter eggs (I was too sick to go to the shops) so I could make a surprise egg hunt for my partner. I would sneakily hide all the eggs—perhaps while my partner had his morning shower—and then not say anything. I would just wait for him to notice.

The day came. He got up before me because even factoring out the chronic illness I have never been a morning person. But I was committed to my Cunning Plan, and my religion of Cunning Plans has no room for divorce. Once I’m in, I’m all in. One time a friend kidnapped my iconic shark keychain and tried to ransom it for one of my partner’s kidneys, and I had a Cunning Plan.

Panel 1: friend says 'Joking! here it--' while I look on, unamused. Panel 2: I had over a kidney in a bag. Friend is surprised.

I trekked to every butcher’s shop in the suburb before finding one that had some sort of animal kidney.

… Obviously it was from a butcher’s shop.

Point is, when a Cunning Plan is at stake, I put in the miles.

So, with super-human effort, I dragged myself out of bed, slithered down the hall, and oozed onto the couch to regroup. But then, as I blinked blearily at the living room cursing all times between 2am and 10am for existing and trying to formulate clever ideas for egg hiding …

Panel 1: I sit on couch clutching bag of eggs. There is an egg on couch arm next to me. Panel 2: zoom in of egg on couch arm, sparkling. Panel 3: zoom in on my shocked eyes.

Jolted into full wakefulness, I looked around again.

I sit on the couch, and on every conceivable surface around my there are sparkling eggs.

My Cunning Plan was not so cunning after all. I was not the only person to come up with it.

Before I was even awake, my lovely partner was already up and about making a fun Easter egg hunt at a time when I had very few activities open to me. How considerate. How wonderful. How sweet.

How dare he.

I am very cross

I considered abandoning my own hunt, pretending I never had any Cunning Plan, and being sickeningly delighted by what he’d done, but quickly wrote this off as a brain-misfire due to not having my morning cup of tea yet. I considered fessing up, handing over the eggs I had obtained for him, pretending to be amused that he got in first, and then finding the ones he hid for me. But that didn’t sit right either.

Instead, I had a new Cunning Plan.

Me looking devious coming up with a cunning plan

Ignoring all the eggs he had hidden for me, I hid mine anyway. Only better. He hadn’t tried that hard. His was child egg hunt. His eggs were sitting in where foil would catch the light, on tops of books in bookshelves, in little clusters on tables.

I could do better than that.

I hid them in mugs that went back in cupboards. I put them in the tea tins. I stashed them in drawers, in high places, under things that were rarely moved. I made sure none of them were visible if you just wandered in and looked around the room. Some would be stumbled upon through daily tasks, others would take concentrated searching.

And then I sat back on the couch and read a book.

Panel 1: I read a book, surrounded by easter eggs. Partner looks at me. Panel 2: partner looks bewildered, I smile at him. Panel 3: I say "everything okay?"Panel 1: partner says 'yeah. of course.' Panel 2: I read. Partner waits. Panel 2: partner gives up, saying 'i guess I'll make us tea'Panel 1: I sit along, surrounded by eggs, reading. Panel 2: close up of my devious eyes. Panel 3: off stage, my partner shouts 'HEY!'

He acknowledged my genius. We had a good laugh about it. We did each other’s egg hunt. I found his in about five minutes. He took longer.

Panel 1: partner standing amid ransacked book shelf saying 'can I have a hint?' Panel 2: me, lying on couch, feasting on easter eggs, 'nope'

He found the last one over a week later. It was in his coat pocket.

Ever since, Easter has been an opportunity to destroy each other with chocolate.

Panel 1: me hiding egg in socks. Panel 2: partner hiding egg on top of ceiling fan. Panel 3: me hiding egg in board game box

And I always win. My time record, so far, is …

Partner bursting in on me showering (strategically blocked by towel rack, don't get too excited). He shouts 'TEN MONTHS?! How?"

But last year I decided to change the game.

We have a small end-table cupboard thing. It doesn’t have anything in it because for some reason it has both a door that will only stay closed if it is locked and drawers. Very awkward. But it came from my grandparent’s house, and I always thought I could paint it and change the inside or something. Of course, I haven’t got around to it. We don’t store anything in it. The key sits on top in a little jar of odds and ends.

The cupboard. My cat is sitting next to it. Just because my cat is pretty awesome.

Last year, my husband hid his eggs before I got the chance, and I found most of them before hiding my own. He hid an egg in that key jar. And as soon as I saw it, my brain sparked with my best yet Cunning Plan.

Me coming up with a cunning plan. I appear downright evil

As part of Phase 1, when it was my turn to hide eggs, I put about a quarter of them in the weird internal cupboard drawers and locked them in.

He worked it out within an hour. They weren’t even the last remaining eggs from that hunt. He’d remembered the key-jar from when he hid an egg in it, so he thought to check almost straight away.

… As I expected.

I acted disappointed. I can play a long game.

Over the next year, I primed him to think of that cupboard as the hiding place. In the weeks following, I reminisced about my failed hiding attempt often. I sighed wistfully and said if only he hadn’t hidden an egg in the key-jar first. I hid his birthday presents. One was in the cupboard, and it was the first one he found.

Good.

This year was Phase 2.

We decided it would be a special hunt. We ordered a box of extra nice eggs each from a local chocolatier (support local businesses through the Rona Ragnarok where possible, guys). Mine were coffee hazelnut crunch. His were almond praline. The deal was we’d each hide each other’s eggs.

I locked every last one of his eggs in that cupboard. Then I took the key and taped it to the back of the clock.

In its old place in the jar, I left a riddle …

riddle in jar: 'What must be broken to be used?'

… Which led to another riddle …

In a cartoon of eggs, a riddle says: 'What has many keys but can open no locks?'

… Which also led to another riddle …

A piano. Instead of sheet music, a new riddle says: 'Where does today come before yesterday?'

You get the gist.

A dictionary. Next riddle says 'what has a head and a tail but no body?'

Until the final note …

A piggy bank with coins. The final note says: 'You solved all the riddles! Too bad they had nothing to do with the key. Keep hunting!'

And no, that was not too evil. Even if he really struggled, the longest the hunt could possibly go would be until he changed the clock for daylight savings time.

Unfortunately riddle number three didn’t go quite as planned.

Panel 1: partner runs over holding clock saying 'I solved it! Today comes before yesterday in TIME!' Panel 2: he looks happy, I look horrified and say 'but ...' Panel 3: partner looks happy. I look even more horrified, saying 'That's not how time works!'

Panel 1: I look very stressed, and shout 'or logic! Or riddles!' Panel 2: partner goes to unlock cupboard. I melt onto the floor screaming 'AAAAAA'. Panel 3: Partner looking happy eating chocolate, saying 'What's wrong? It was a great hunt!' I am a puddle.

And thus my Cunning Plan was thwarted by sheer dumbassery.

I just … just … still don’t know how to process this.

I thought I’d covered everything. I took the key a week early so he couldn’t use it for his hunt before I got to it. I made sure ‘egg’ was the first riddle-answer because it was the most likely to be stumbled upon by mistake, and if it was I didn’t want it to mess up the riddle-chain. I had back-up hiding places for all my riddles in case he had used any for his hunt. After I arranged everything, I even went around the house slightly tweaking cupboard doors and moving things to mask my actions. I mean, he didn’t even try googling the answers! That he might do that was half the reason they were a red herring! I had contingencies for cheating, but not for him being terrible at riddles.

Serves me right for overestimating him.

Fortunately, this will just make Phase 3 even better.

I can play a long game.

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Responses on my last comic indicated my cat is in fact very appreciated, so I made sure to include him in one of the comics. You’re welcome.

Other safe content HERE.

If you love my stories and comics, check out my store and my Patreon page. You can support my work and get unique rewards!

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