Danger Boob. Breastfeeding Part 2
I did not think I was the sort of person to give their boobs nicknames until I breastfed, but then each of them developed its own personality quirks and method of trying to kill me or my baby.
This is, I regret to inform you, based on not just one true story but many.
Got Milk? Breastfeeding Part 1
Nothing can prepare you for waking up in the soft, glowy morning after having your first child—that one in the little plastic-walled bassinet next to your bed, wrapped up like an angelic bug in a hospital baby blanket—to the brick-wall reality that you are definitely already doing everything wrong…
Betrayed by my own blood.
Unexpected Things Babies Like
I completely expected for them to like power points, grabbing the cat’s tail and throwing themselves from heights. I knew about those things. Following a crawling baby around stopping her from repeatedly headbutting every solid object she came across was not something I expected to be doing at all, let alone often.
Never a dull moment.
I mean, not right away, but when the crawling starts.
Parenting Tips No One Tells You (except me, of course) #1
t took me an embarrassingly long time to work this out. I spent months in a ditch at the side of the park paths in over-sized coffee-stained jumpers staring enviously at all the put-together parents cruising around in sleek active-wear and looking like they’d actually showered and remembered about brushing their hair that morning .…
Yes, that is an accurate depiction of the hair she was born with. And fart volume she can achieve. I will have to get used to being outdone.