Weddings are hard.
If you haven’t yet organised one, I know that you think you already know this.
Before I got engaged, I thought I knew about them. I thought I knew how over-the-top they could get, how stupidly expensive they are and how rigid some people’s opinions about the dos and don’ts of weddings could be. I thought that, as I was clearly well ahead of the game in identifying these issues, it would be easy to avoid them all. In fact, my foolish words on the matter have been immortalised in a previous blog post so you can go and laugh at me right now if you want to.
Because you can’t avoid it.
It doesn’t matter how much you don’t want this stuff. Someone somewhere—be they irritating acquaintance who isn’t even invited, pushy contractor, judgemental internet article or beloved and well-meaning family member—will try to make you have it. Sometimes they will do it subtly, almost kindly. And then sometimes it is … less subtle.
… less subtle, maybe, but far more fabulous. I think I would almost enjoy criticism if it always came in song form.
Most people are absolutely lovely. And if you know me and are reading this, then don’t worry. I’m not talking about you. It’s definitely that internet article I read that one time that made me want to punch the computer screen (I’m looking at you, article outlining a six-month fitness program for brides to make them ‘ready’ for their weddings). You’re probably one of the wonderfully kind and accepting people who always laugh at my jokes and whom I am so very happy to have around me (… and who aren’t going to make a fuss if I messed up those who/whoms).
And there really are so many of these superb people.
Every time I stress out, somebody tells me something that I would like to pass on. I am deeply grateful for them saying it and appreciate anyone who has reminded me of it. And I would love for this advice to pop up in 4am google searches made by frenetic couples trying to find invitation wording etiquette that is guaranteed not to offend anyone, ever, anywhere, under any circumstances, that is, in fact, the gold standard of wedding invitation wording that you could send to people of diametrically opposed ideologies and walks of life who are allergic to everything on your menu, and they will still read it and smile.
This stuff doesn’t matter.
None of it.
Just get married in a way that the two of you—not that irritating acquaintance who isn’t even invited, or the pushy contractor, or the judgemental part of the internet, or even the beloved and well-meaning family member—will remember with fond memories.
And go add something fun and maybe a bit alcoholic to your honeymoon. You deserve it.