Obligatory Wedding Planning Rant

Weddings are hard.

If you haven’t yet organised one, I know that you think you already know this.

You don’t.

Before I got engaged, I thought I knew about them. I thought I knew how over-the-top they could get, how stupidly expensive they are and how rigid some people’s opinions about the dos and don’ts of weddings could be. I thought that, as I was clearly well ahead of the game in identifying these issues, it would be easy to avoid them all. In fact, my foolish words on the matter have been immortalised in a previous blog post so you can go and laugh at me right now if you want to.

Because you can’t avoid it.



It doesn’t matter how much you don’t want this stuff. Someone somewhere—be they irritating acquaintance who isn’t even invited, pushy contractor, judgemental internet article or beloved and well-meaning family member—will try to make you have it. Sometimes they will do it subtly, almost kindly. And then sometimes it is … less subtle.

wedding planning3 weddingplanning4 weddingplanning5 weddingplanning6 weddingplanning7 Change 1
weddingplanning9 weddingplanning10 weddingplanning11

… less subtle, maybe, but far more fabulous. I think I would almost enjoy criticism if it always came in song form.

Most people are absolutely lovely. And if you know me and are reading this, then don’t worry. I’m not talking about you. It’s definitely that internet article I read that one time that made me want to punch the computer screen (I’m looking at you, article outlining a six-month fitness program for brides to make them ‘ready’ for their weddings). You’re probably one of the wonderfully kind and accepting people who always laugh at my jokes and whom I am so very happy to have around me (… and who aren’t going to make a fuss if I messed up those who/whoms).

And there really are so many of these superb people.

Every time I stress out, somebody tells me something that I would like to pass on. I am deeply grateful for them saying it and appreciate anyone who has reminded me of it. And I would love for this advice to pop up in 4am google searches made by frenetic couples trying to find invitation wording etiquette that is guaranteed not to offend anyone, ever, anywhere, under any circumstances, that is, in fact, the gold standard of wedding invitation wording that you could send to people of diametrically opposed ideologies and walks of life who are allergic to everything on your menu, and they will still read it and smile.

This stuff doesn’t matter.

None of it.

Just get married in a way that the two of you—not that irritating acquaintance who isn’t even invited, or the pushy contractor, or the judgemental part of the internet, or even the beloved and well-meaning family member—will remember with fond memories.

And go add something fun and maybe a bit alcoholic to your honeymoon. You deserve it.

22 thoughts on “Obligatory Wedding Planning Rant

  1. Thinking of my sister’s wedding a few months ago, I reckon your “reality” pie graph is actually really accurate. Only difference is, for her wedding, there was a LOT of “fun craft”. Made it more personal, but damn it was a lot of work

    1. We are actually doing a bunch of ‘fun craft’ as we’re making all the decorations other than the lighting. And we are actually enjoying it. And we haven’t yet had to rope in everyone we know as free labour to suffer through hot glue gun burns and back aches and endless paper-rolling.

  2. if the event is somewhat close to here (you ARE getting married in Montrose, Colorawdough, R’ntchew?) then i’ll come but i’ll try not to judge. i’ll bring my crummy camera. and betty. and, the obligatory not-as-funny-nor-insightful-as-yours’ll-be blog post. but it’ll be pun/phunnee anyweigh !

  3. I hate to be the one to tell you this…

    But all your planning has been for nothing. All you REALLY need is this.

    Can I be invited? I’ll bring the t-rex!!

    PS- Your pie charts were freaking awesome- also the other image was great- did that take forever to draw? I get soooo annoyed drawing things where I have to add so many little things that change each frame! Nice work.

    1. OH MY GOD. THAT IS EXACTLY THE WEDDING I WANT. Can I hire you as my wedding planner? I’ll pay you in cupcakes.

      Thank you! Yep, the musical number took a while. I had to pace it over a few days so that I didn’t go insane (and so cfs didn’t destroy me from all the concentrating). Also, I ended up drawing each new image over the top of a semi-transparent copy of the previous one to ensure continuity for all the people. This is a sneaky thing I do sometimes so that I’m not continually switching between pictures to remind myself of things (and then making heaps of mistakes that need fixing later anyway).

      1. Yes I CAN be your wedding planner, and actually I ONLY accept payment in cupcakes, so it should work out fine! (Although to be honest my idea of planning would entirely consist of how to make a giant t-rex replica sooo…)

        Interesting- I forget if I’ve asked you what you use for your drawing? When I use the same things in an image for multiple images I usually make the parts I want to change (like eyeballs and arms) in another layer that I just delete and then draw new ones on for new frames- but that’s in Manga Studio.

      2. Giant t-rex replica sounds good to me.

        I use autodesk sketchbook. (I was using the android version, but I’ve just got a new computer and now will be using the windows version with a much more sensitive touchscreen, so the way I do things might change a bit).

        For consecutive pictures with lots in common I used to just change things on a layer, like you say you do, but I started really noticing the rest of image looking exactly the same in each picture. I like the little changes that come with redrawing; it feels more organic somehow. This is paranoid nonsense, of course. I doubt anyone else could see it in my pictures (and I can’t see it in the pictures of others). It is particularly silly because I even redraw the things that don’t move ever, like furniture. It also creates much more work. But I like it anyway. It makes me feel satisfied. Maybe one day I’ll get sick of it and do it the other way again.

    2. Seeing this photo made me LOLOLOL because just yesterday I read an article on “things couples need to stop doing for their wedding”. This photo-op was one of them….another judgmental article on weddings. They’re endless. I think this photo is pretty awesome. And so does my son :)

  4. Absolutely love this post. Made me laugh out loud. It is all true!! Having gotten married last year and so having been through the ringer of wedding planning myself I can totally relate. All I can say is it will all be worth it! The day itself and the honeymoon will be magical and we totally followed your advice of alcohol on the honeymoon, all in the name of post planning recovery! Good luck! If you have any questions about ME/CFS and weddings, feel free to ask :-)

    1. Thank you! I’m glad you found it amusing. I think it’s all going to be okay with the CFS … fingers crossed (a couple of months ago I was really unwell and it was all looking very impossible, but I seem to have pulled through that and am feeling much better). I found your blog very helpful for planning!

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