Silence Killed the Dinosaurs by Lucy Grove-Jones
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  • Scarves for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare

    Scarves for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare

    Call me invalid. I have had chronic fatigue syndrome for a little over six months now, so lately I haven’t been able to do a whole lot. Initially it wasn’t so bad. That is to say, it always sucked, but at first it was a fresh situation and it was easy to be optimistic. Less…

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  • Fighting Multi-Headed Anxiety Monsters with the Power of Song

    Fighting Multi-Headed Anxiety Monsters with the Power of Song

    But first a confession. I had a really hard time writing this, but an easy time drawing the pictures. In fact, I had more fun drawing these pictures than I did drawing myself being ripped apart by a bear, and I giggled continuously while doing that one. But the words were difficult. So this is…

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  • How to tell if someone is actually a soulless demon-spawn waiting for an opportunity to feed on your flesh

    How to tell if someone is actually a soulless demon-spawn waiting for an opportunity to feed on your flesh

    If you’re anything like me, you frequently wonder if the person you are talking to is just trying to lull you into a false sense of security so they can eat your flesh. I spend so much time and energy worrying about this that I have devised a clever trap for such people. Here, I…

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  • A Briefs History of Clothes

    A Briefs History of Clothes

    As soon as I was allowed any say in my wardrobe I wore pink. All pink. I loved pink. I loved pink so much that on ‘wear the colours of your favourite football team to school day’ (I thought it was a mouthful too), this happened…

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  • Bear Attacks and Other Nightmares

    Bear Attacks and Other Nightmares

    Throughout my life I have been pretty good at scary things. I can watch horror suspense movies without wetting my pants. I don’t squeal at weeping angels. I think zombies are cool. But every now and again something scares the life out of me, and it’s always something pathetic…

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  • Introductions

    Introductions

    Meeting new people is hard. It’s bad enough when you have to get to know someone because they’re a friend of a friend, they’re suddenly your co-worker, or you’re at a party and have no one else to talk to. Under those circumstances there tends to be enough context to allow a conversation to grow.…

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