Tag Archives: cats

Brewing Tea

Three panel comic. First panel: some tea brews on a counter and cartoon me sits down in a chair nearby saying "I will sit down while my tea brews". Second panel: cat jumps onto cartoon me's lap. Third panel: cartoon me is stuck under the cat and a speech bubble comes from the tea saying "Your abandonment has made me cold and bitter."

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A (frequent) tragedy in three acts.

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Meow

Comic with three panels. First panel: cat sits by it's food bowl and meows at comic me. Second panel: cat meows again and I meow back. Third panel: cat meows LOUDLY IN CAPS and I meow LOUDLY IN CAPS back

3 more panels. First panel: cat meows so LOUDLY IN CAPS that the speech bubble squishes him and I meow SO LOUDLY IN CAPS that the speech bubble squishes me. Second panel: Cat looks at me, silent. I look smug. Third panel: Cat says: "bitch"

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Are you even a cat owner if you don’t mock your cat’s dramatic feed-me meows?

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Half a Glass

Optimist: smiling glass half full. Pessimist: sad glass half empty. Realist: Half-glass saying "Either way, I'll get drank." Idealist: Glass dreaming of having ice and an umbrella. Anarchist: cat pushing glass off table.

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Work-From-Home Colleagues

Three panels. Panel one, I walk with my laptop saying "Time to get some work done!" Panel two, I find the cat sitting on my desk chair. Panel three, I work on the couch.

Four panels. Panel one, the cat sits on the couch arm watching me type. Panel two, the cat climbs onto my lap, forcing me to move my laptop. Panel three, I hold my laptop in the air, the cat is curled sleeping in my lap. Panel four, I lean awkwardly to type with my laptop on the couch arm while the cat purs happily in my lap.

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The untold problems involved in working from home.

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Life and Blanket Forts

While building a blanket fort: "The strength of duct tape, the grace of a draped blanket, the comfort of pillows." Sitting in complete blanket fort: "I may not feel like the architect of my life, but I can always make this." Cat jumps on blanket fort and collapses it.

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So that’s me right now. How are you all doing?

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Pests

Two panel comic. In the first panel, a kitten has caught a spider and brought it to me. I say, "Good kitten! When you get big we'll never have a pest problem in this house!" Second panel titled "six months later". The house is trashed. The cat is wielding a katana and leaping after a fly.

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The War Continues

 

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The War of the Plants

I have never confronted my mum about this, but I’m pretty sure I’m at least 50% elvish.

Having plants around makes me feel good. It always has. When I was a kid in need of a private place to sulk, I would climb a tree. After a long hard day of being a nerd in high school, I would water pot plants. As an adult, I filled my rental’s barren courtyard with potted herbs and spent all day staring vaguely out the window at them instead of being productive.

And finally, as a homeowner, I decided it was time for trendy indoor plants.

And a cat, of course.

It didn’t work out how I imagined.

The first problem was that our brand new cuddle floof turned out to be an indiscriminate glutton. He disposed of his dinner like a vacuum cleaner. Cooking meals became an extreme sports version of keepies-off. He consumed stray bits of dental floss and munched on rubber bands—and we only know about those because we found floss and bits of mangled rubber in his vomit. Who knows what other household items he’s digested.

It became quickly apparent that the probability of him finding and taking a bite out of a poisonous houseplant was 100%.

Which ruled out all the trendy ones.

Terrified I would accidently kill the fluff-monster, I did some research before getting anything.

And good thing I did. As soon as I brought my non-toxic houseplant selections home, my fears were confirmed. Our food-hoovering, face-cuddling, foot-biting, sink-splashing, shoulder-sitting cat was also a plant-nibbler.

Our sentient scarf fixated on a Boston fern. He nibbled and nibbled. The damage began to show. We moved it around, tried to hide it from him, but he found it again and again. Over the course of month, he ate it down to twigs.

Until that point, I had everything arse-about. I had assumed the plants were a risk to the health of our furry hedge-trimmer, but in fact he was a danger to them.

Our murder-croissant moved on to an African violet. He bit the leaves off so he could play with them on the ground. It lived longer than the fern, but he knocked off leaves faster than the plant could regrow them.

I was not ready to admit defeat. My elvish heritage would not be denied. I picked out some replacements, and this time I choose robust plants, capable of withstanding a bit of casual grazing.

I had grossly underestimated his capacity to nibble.

Worse, the toebean-licker seemed to understand how much I hated it. He would use it to seek vengeance whenever I refused to feed him dinner at 2pm, stopped him from murdering my knitting, or fished him out of the toilet and shut the lid to prevent him playing in it.

It always played out the same way. First, there was a lull in cat mayhem, and I would return to my internet browsing or fantasy novel. I relaxed, but before long I would feel the seeping awareness that the silence was too good to be true. In fact, I inevitably realised it wasn’t silence at all.

Leaves were rustling.

And I would look up.

The nibbles started to show—on my nerves as well as on the plants.

I searched for new solutions. I started hanging them so the meowinator couldn’t reach them to nibble.

If I only wanted a couple of plants, I would have found my solution. But I wanted my victory to be absolute. I needed more plants, large plants, multiple per room!

I couldn’t hang them all. I needed another alternative.

Channelling my elvish wiles, and found it.

It was, I am willing to acknowledge, a little bit evil. A tad cunning. Slightly Slytherin. It betrayed a dark corner of myself I usually pretend I don’t have.

Cayenne pepper.

At the end of the day, the important thing is not my moral integrity or the state of my immortal soul, it’s not even that I got to keep my plants.

It is that I won.

Sort of.

 

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Cat Daydream

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An illustration based on this comic, Cat Daydream, is available in my store! You can get it as a print, or on mugs and phone cases and stickers and things.

If you love my stories and comics, check out my Patreon page. You can support my work and get unique rewards!

And don’t forget you can follow me for updates on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+ and Pinterest.

Cat Pie Chart

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This comic is available in my store. Check it out, or browse the store!

If you love my stories and comics, check out my Patreon page. You can support my work and get unique rewards!

And don’t forget you can follow me for updates on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+ and Pinterest.