Toast Speaking

Three panels. In the first, my partner calls my phone. In the second, I answer while holding toast. I say "Hello, I'm eating toast." Third panel, through the phone my partner says "Hah! Hi eating. I'm-- No wait. Hello toast ... that's still wrong. How does it go?"

Three panels. First panel, my partner says over the phone: "um ... I remember now! Do you think it's to later? Maybe if we go back to the beginning. Pretend to answer the phone again." Second panel, silence. I nibble my toast. Third panel, over the phone my partner says "I'm not okay"


The pressure of living with someone as hilarious as me gets to him sometimes. Do you ever mess up jokes? Don’t tell anyone because it will make me seem bad at my job, but I do all the time.

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18 thoughts on “Toast Speaking

  1. Where I work, if you answer the phone like “Hello, Lucy speaking” a particular colleague will reply “Hello Lucy Speaking!” and quite possibly call you “Lucy Speaking” for the remainder of the conversation… I laugh it off, but some people roll their eyes

    1. When I was a kid I was terrified of speaking on the phone. I can’t explain, but it was something to do with the fear of saying the wrong thing.

      I lived in very real terror of the situation you are describing.

      1. I also used to be terrified of talking on the phone! But where I work, I’m on the phone so much, it’s quite a non-event now

  2. I totally relate to this. Sometimes, the joke I’m about to tell is so funny I start hysterically laughing and my partner can’t understand a word I’m saying. Since I tell jokes firstly for my own enjoyment and only secondly for his, I just laugh it off and say, “Man, sometimes I crack myself up.” Then he laughs and says, “I’m glad your enjoying your own company, dear. Want to try telling me the joke now?” To which, I must respond, “No, I’m good.” Keeps the mystery alive.

  3. Hello ,

    I saw your tweet about animals and thought I will check your website. I like it!

    I love pets. I have two beautiful thai cats called Tammy(female) and Yommo(male). Yommo is 1 year older than Tommy. He acts like a bigger brother for her. :)
    I have even created an Instagram account for them ( ) and probably soon they will have more followers than me (kinda funny).

    I have subscribed to your newsletter. :)

    Keep up the good work on your blog.


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