Tag: weird

  • BIG NEWS

    BIG NEWS

    Probably, anyway, because I made this in advance and scheduled it to appear at just the right time. But I’m sure I would have had a free minute with an internet connection to delete it if anything untoward occurred and messed everything up, so if you can see this, it’s safe to assume that I…

  • He Can Thunder My Lizard Any Day

    He Can Thunder My Lizard Any Day

    I’m glad that palaeontologists decided to go with Brontosaurus in 2015. Apatosaurus just isn’t long term relationship material. P.S. When this hit the focus groups (i.e., when I came up with the idea at 2am and woke up my partner by giggling uncontrollably and generally making a lot of noise and fuss for 2am so…

  • Always Remember the Silver Lining

    Always Remember the Silver Lining

    When you suddenly notice bad vibes coming from your bathroom drain…

  • Pride and Prejudice and Spiders

    Pride and Prejudice and Spiders

    If this post is anything to go by, you could reasonably assume that isolation of sitting at home all day with CFS has finally pushed me over the border from ‘quirky’ to ‘weird’. This will probably come back to haunt me when my family drag it out as evidence of my incompetence so that they can have…

  • Odds and Ends #1

    Odds and Ends #1

    I recently started using Pinterest. It has helped me discover many useful home improvement tips like ‘1000 crafty things to do with jars’, ‘How to build an entire house and all your furniture out of old pallets’ and ‘Use Vaseline to distress furniture’. That last one is real. Turns out I’ve been distressing my furniture wrong…

  • Foibles (little crazy things)

    Foibles (little crazy things)

    I parenthetically (in brackets) translate words in my head. Not all words. In fact, not even most words. Most words slip through my mind without leaving a ripple. This lulls me into the false sense of security that I know them well. In reality if I was put on the spot to concisely define a…

  • How to tell if someone is actually a soulless demon-spawn waiting for an opportunity to feed on your flesh

    How to tell if someone is actually a soulless demon-spawn waiting for an opportunity to feed on your flesh

    If you’re anything like me, you frequently wonder if the person you are talking to is just trying to lull you into a false sense of security so they can eat your flesh. I spend so much time and energy worrying about this that I have devised a clever trap for such people. Here, I…