Author: Lucy Grove-Jones

  • He Can Thunder My Lizard Any Day

    He Can Thunder My Lizard Any Day

    I’m glad that palaeontologists decided to go with Brontosaurus in 2015. Apatosaurus just isn’t long term relationship material. P.S. When this hit the focus groups (i.e., when I came up with the idea at 2am and woke up my partner by giggling uncontrollably and generally making a lot of noise and fuss for 2am so […]

  • “So, what do you do?”: An Apology

    “So, what do you do?”: An Apology

    My apology comes on two fronts. First, I’m sorry to people who ask me this question. You don’t really know me and you’re trying to maintain conversation through the inevitable lull. You pull out the old faithful “so, what do you do?” expecting a good fifteen minutes where you can just coast on me nattering about how being a vet or a lawyer or a real estate agent or whatever is just great and is really taking off for me right now and blah blah blah. You probably feel a bit good about yourself for offering me a hefty turn in the conversational spotlight. But it doesn’t go that way. Because I’m not a vet or a lawyer or a real estate agent. I’m not even a whatever…

  • It’s My Birthday!

    It’s My Birthday!

    And I am now officially on the late twenties side of 25. This has me concerned that by now I should have my shit together, or at least have a more respectable shit-together versus shit-all-over-the-place ratio. Or at the very least I should act more like an adult. (If you’re thinking, ‘wait, you’re getting married soon […]

  • Obligatory Wedding Planning Rant

    Obligatory Wedding Planning Rant

    Weddings are hard. If you haven’t yet organised one, I know that you think you already know this. You don’t. Before I got engaged, I thought I knew about them. I thought I knew how over-the-top they could get, how stupidly expensive they are and how rigid some people’s opinions about the dos and don’ts of weddings could be. I thought that, as I was clearly well ahead of the game in identifying these issues, it would be easy to avoid them all. n fact, my foolish words on the matter have been immortalised in a previous blog post so you can go and laugh at me right now if you want to. Because you can’t avoid it…

  • Always Remember the Silver Lining

    Always Remember the Silver Lining

    When you suddenly notice bad vibes coming from your bathroom drain…

  • A Quest to Emergency: Follow Up

    A Quest to Emergency: Follow Up

    My partner loved what I wrote about his injury. He was delighted to find himself in a starring role in a blog-story and to have his ant-war cartoonised. But he quickly began to regret turning down my offer or re-writing the injury part with dragons. He didn’t make a big deal about it, but I could tell he felt he had missed his opportunity to be immortalised in a daring action-filled escapade. I understood. Ants are just not as cool as dragons. So I drew it for him as a surprise gift…

  • A Quest to Emergency (Alternative Title: If this ever happens to me, I’m going to lie and say it was dragons)

    A Quest to Emergency (Alternative Title: If this ever happens to me, I’m going to lie and say it was dragons)

    Last week I got a call from my partner while he was at work. “I’m okay, but I’ve had an accident!” he said. My mind went straight to…

  • Depression Lies

    Depression Lies

    Lately my depression has been close to the surface. It whispers things to me and manipulates me. It tries to make me believe that I am worthless. I want to write about it properly, but everything I put down seems wrong, and I end up in tangles. To have it swoop in and steal the […]

  • Pride and Prejudice and Spiders

    Pride and Prejudice and Spiders

    If this post is anything to go by, you could reasonably assume that isolation of sitting at home all day with CFS has finally pushed me over the border from ‘quirky’ to ‘weird’. This will probably come back to haunt me when my family drag it out as evidence of my incompetence so that they can have […]

  • Odds and Ends #2

    Odds and Ends #2

    I wish I was a better gardener.