Author: Lucy Grove-Jones

  • Warning: May Contain Traces of Spiders

    Warning: May Contain Traces of Spiders

    Do you ever wonder if spiders just want attention? Maybe they don’t hang out in our showers because they are spiteful and want to ruin our mornings with a fight to the death over the shampoo. Maybe they just want to spend time with us, but don’t understand how humans do things. They watch how we interact with our pets and our friends and perhaps don’t realise that they can’t just copy and paste the behaviours that work for our cats…

  • “Be Positive”: As helpful as the Microsoft Paperclip

    And who wants to be like the Microsoft paperclip? I have chronic fatigue syndrome (cfs). One day in March last year I came home from university placement feeling drowning-tired and crawled into bed expecting to sleep all weekend and be better by Monday. That was over a year ago, and I’m still waiting for that […]

  • Odds and Ends #1

    Odds and Ends #1

    I recently started using Pinterest. It has helped me discover many useful home improvement tips like ‘1000 crafty things to do with jars’, ‘How to build an entire house and all your furniture out of old pallets’ and ‘Use Vaseline to distress furniture’. That last one is real. Turns out I’ve been distressing my furniture wrong […]

  • How to Propose with Extra Dinosaurs

    How to Propose with Extra Dinosaurs

    “Where have you been these last few months? We’ve been suffering without regular posts filled with your sparkling wit and hilarious cartoons!” I know. I know, guys. I’m so sorry for abandoning you to several dull, me-less months. But I’ve had stuff on…

  • Foibles (little crazy things)

    Foibles (little crazy things)

    I parenthetically (in brackets) translate words in my head. Not all words. In fact, not even most words. Most words slip through my mind without leaving a ripple. This lulls me into the false sense of security that I know them well. In reality if I was put on the spot to concisely define a word like, say, ‘define’, I would have to make up a plausible distraction to escape the conversation (“did you know that the reason they can’t find the Lock Ness Monster is that it actually lives in my bath tub?”). So the words I know well my brain can’t easily explain, but the ones that feel unfamiliar and clunky are succinctly (briefly but aptly) described…

  • The Importance of Basking in the Glory of Small Victories

    The Importance of Basking in the Glory of Small Victories

    Recently* a friend told me something surprising. Recently* a friend told me something surprising. It took me some time to soak this peculiar idea up. I am far too used to thinking of myself as the opposite, and so the idea that I might be considered ‘impressive’ was altogether too strange to be believed…

  • The Girl Who Built the Tree-House

    The Girl Who Built the Tree-House

    It’s easy to let silence take over part of your life and to forget the good things about yourself. It’s easy to twist your mind and see yourself from a bad angle, to believe that acts of anger or rebellion are always bad things, to submit and tell yourself it’s only this one time. And if that’s easy, then it’s easy for it to spread, like metastasising cancer, from one part of your life to others, until it’s everything…

  • My First Near Death Experience

    My First Near Death Experience

    I’ve been so bored. Thanks to chronic fatigue I live on my couch reading books, knitting and feeling terrible that I cannot participate in life the way I used to. So I’ve decided I should write something, something that I might have fun with that has nothing to do with my couch or my illness. I get blood noses a lot. This is an excellent topic, because whenever I draw a picture with blood-splatters I become ridiculously giggly and gleeful. I’m hoping that when they read this my friends and family won’t find this information disturbing and will instead shake their heads and think of it fondly as just another of my little quirks…

  • Scarves for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare

    Scarves for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare

    Call me invalid. I have had chronic fatigue syndrome for a little over six months now, so lately I haven’t been able to do a whole lot. Initially it wasn’t so bad. That is to say, it always sucked, but at first it was a fresh situation and it was easy to be optimistic. Less so now. Apologies about this. I’ve been trying not to sulk, but it’s becoming difficult…

  • Chronic Fatigue Adventures: Starting the Day

    Chronic Fatigue Adventures: Starting the Day